Many empaths were raised in such a manner that we have a latent need to support and satisfy others.
We were probably taught as children that if we obeyed our parents' or teachers' commands, we would be decent people.
We equate not following such commands with a kind of retribution, which is how people-pleasing habits evolved in order to escape punishment or disappointing others. There is a way to be both empathic and assertive at the same time. When you're assertive, you're confidently claiming your opinions and asserting your right to do so.
Simply put, being assertive means standing up for yourself, expressing your feelings, and successfully communicating your opinions, desires, and ideas.
You want to make sure that you are considerate of others and mindful of their feelings and personal boundaries when you do this.
“I thank you telling me,” can be expressed in a variety of ways. I am, however, unable to assist at this time.” You won't be putting yourself under any more pressures this way.
The below are the most critical steps to being more assertive as an empath:
1. Define the parameters.
2. Don't take anything too seriously.
3. Write in a confident way to express your emotions.
4. Take control of your own happiness.
5. Pay attention to how you present yourself.
Define the Limits!
- Empaths have a surprisingly rough time setting boundaries. We have a tendency to try to make everybody happy. As a result, if they call for assistance, we will accommodate them. When you know that you are entering a dysfunctional relationship or that you are constantly attempting to rescue, support, or improve someone, you must intervene until you are the one who suffers.
- You will almost always be the one that is injured or exploited. They won't worry if you need time to rest if people around you know who you are and love you. They should realize that it has no bearing on them. If they can't understand, they're not the sort of people you should be hanging out with in the first place.
- Make an effort not to take matters too seriously. If someone ignores you for an extended period of time, you would ask whether they are angry with you before it is answered or you forget about it. There may have been a miscommunication. In reality, the majority of incidents are unintentional; but, you are concerned with whether or not anyone is angry with you.
- Write in a confident way to express your emotions. Writing can be beneficial in a variety of ways, especially if you have been injured or are hanging on to past trauma. If you want to be assertive in some way, start writing it down. Write down what you want to say and how you need to say it in order to feel better.
- Maintaining and controlling your own satisfaction is important. When it comes to what makes you happy, it's important not to depend on others. If you depend on someone to make you happy, you will almost certainly be let down every time.
- Pay attention to how you view yourself. Make sure you pay attention to how you present yourself. You don't want to be so modest that some notice and think you're a lazy guy. If you use so many emojis, for example, you can come off as awkward and desperate to be loved.
- Being an empath can be difficult; however, there are ways to reduce the chances of being used and maintain certain limits for your own well-being. The term "no" is one of the most painful for an empath to utter. This comes from a fear of conflict and offending other people. People do not want to offend or harm the other person, so they do not want to say no. And when an empath says no, they seem to be concerned about it, and it can get frustrating and overwhelming. We want to be loved and to care, but we usually say yes to something to keep the peace with those around us, even though it means being run over.
Being assertive isn't a poor quality to have. It can be used as a guide to help you balance your responsibilities so that you don't get overburdened.
Being assertive is a skill in and of itself. You must maintain a degree of empathy and concern for other people's emotions at all times. I'm not sure if this is the same as passive-aggressive actions, but it's different when you're concerned with other people's interests as well as your own.
You will be able to manage your life in a stress-free and productive way when you learn the art of assertiveness.
You may also want to read more about Empaths, Psychic Empaths, Intuitive Empaths, and Healing here.